Do You Remember?
by PunkVampy
Summary: Sequel to Common Ground. Gabriel was dead. He was gone. And When Dean gives Castiel the one thing that he left behind, the message on the DVD. Castiel watches it with Balthazar. And, to their amazement, Gabriel had one last little trick up his sleeve.


_**This is sort of the sequel to my other story on here, Common Ground. The idea of making a sequel of Castiel's feelings after Hammer Of The Gods was given to me by the awesome reviewer ROSSELLA1, So thanks for that, if you're reading this. Balthazar is in this, but obviously not in the same place (or even country) as the Winchesters as this is set in Season Five, so no-one has a bloody clue who the bloke is. Sorry, I do go on don't I? :)**_

_**Enjoy, and please review! Every Review is a hug to Cas!**_

_**PunkVampy **_

Castiel felt dead. That was the only thing that could explain how he felt. Dead. Lifeless and most of all,…he felt like it was all his fault.

Gabriel was gone. He was never coming back. It was only at that point that Castiel really realised what Lucifer was capable of. He didn't care who he killed.

_He must do…somewhere…in his heart… _Castiel thought, as he stood in the middle of the room. Eyes cast low to the ground as the realisation finally kicked in. _Lucifer was still his big brother, I remember…He was so good with Gabriel when we were all little…._

"Cas?"

Castiel looked up slowly. It was Dean. He was standing there, the shadow of the rain on the window making it seem like deep black marks were running down his face. He was in his usual dress code. Battered jeans, and a typical t-shirt sporting some rock band that Castiel was unaware of. But what caught his attention was the thing Dean was holding.

"Dean." Castiel greeted. Dean bit his lip. He took a deep, heavy breath and walked over to the angel, sitting down next to him on the sofa.  
"Do you…uh…Do you need to talk…?"

"About what?"

"well…you know…"

"No, I don't."

Dean licked his lips, and took another shaky breath. Not entirely sure how to put it. _To hell with it, I'm just gunna say it._

"Gabriel." Dean bit his lip again when he saw the brief look of emotion that flashed through Castiel's normally unimpassioned eyes. The angel lowered his head and mumbled "Oh…"

Dean sighed. "it does help if you talk about it…Cas?" Cas didn't reply, he just folded his arms over his chest, head still lowered, breathing soft, and hitching in places.

"It's always hard, losing family. Believe me, I know. Mom. Dad…hell even when Sammy…" Dean trailed off. Coming to the conclusion that it was best not to go there. Yeah, so Sam had died…but Dean had got him back. In the space of forty eight hours. But there was nothing Castiel could do to get Gabriel back. Well, not as far as Dean knew.

There was silence in the room for a few minutes. Castiel didn't even move. He was just staring at the floor of Bobby's living room, and thinking. Thinking about what he could have done to stop Lucifer from killing Gabriel. Even if he did turn up at that hotel, his chances of getting out of there with Gabriel would have been very slim. But atleast he would have _tried_.

Dean was staring out of the window, watching as the raindrops danced down the window. The moon was out, its gloomy light illuminating Dean's face. Sam was asleep. Upstairs. In a bed for once instead of on the sofas, or in the passenger seat of the Impala.

"What did he say to you, Dean?"

Dean didn't know how to answer. So he just handed Castiel the thing he was holding. Castiel took it gently, and frowned down at the cover of the DVD case. Boldly declaring it to be named

_**Casa Erotica**_

He looked back up at Dean with a confused look on his face. "I do not wish to watch this implement of uncalled for Lust."

Dean smiled, and it was probably the saddest smile the elder Winchester boy had ever sported. "It's not just porn, Cas. It's a message."

"From Gabriel?"

Dean nodded, and got to his feet. "It was a message to me and Sam. He told us how to trap Lucifer back in his cage, the four rings of the horseman….I…uh just thought you might want to watch it."

Castiel fumbled with a button on his trenchcoat, before looking up at the Hunter with blue eyes, that seemed to be showing more sorrow and emotion than ever before. "Thank you, Dean"

Dean smiled affectionately. And squeezed Castiel's shoulder gently. "I'm gunna be right here if you need to talk, ok?"

A small nod from Castiel. Dean decided it was best to leave him, turning away, he slowly and quietly left the room, and walked up the stairs. Leaving the youngest angel alone.

Castiel didn't want to be there, he knew where he had to go, he knew who he wanted to be with…to watch Gabriel's message with.

He closed his eyes. And flew all the way there.

…

Balthazar looked up when he saw his little brother appear in the room. He was on his feet in an instant.  
"Cassy…"

"Gabriel left a message…Dean Winchester gave this to me." Castiel said, holding up the DVD. Balthazar wasn't really listening. He walked over to his little brother. "Cassy are you alright?" a hand was gently placed on the younger angels shoulder. "Do you want to talk?"

Castiel turned around harshly. Eyes screwed shut tightly. "Why is everyone asking me that?"

Balthazar exhaled softly through his nose and looked down . "It just helps…"

"Can we please just watch the message?" Castiel whispered, or was it a sob? Balthazar wasn't really sure. But still he took the DVD from Castiel and placed it in the DVD player, and switched the TV on.

The brothers took their seats on the battered old sofa in the deserted, yet grand house Balthazar was inhabiting.

With a disgusted little tut, Balthazar fast forwarded the beginning section of the tape. Not really comfortable with Castiel seeing it. In his eyes Castiel was still a little kid. And little kids don't watch that kind of thing. Especially when they're angels. But he stopped when he saw Gabriel sitting on the bed, looking straight at the camera, dressed in a stupid waiters getup with a fake moustache. Balthazar managed a little smile despite the overwhelming grief that washed over him when he saw his elder brothers face again…his smirk…

"The message is for Dean and Sam, so he'll be talking as if it was to them…" Castiel explained as Balthazar hit the play button.

Gabriel was sitting on the bed, smiling that smile of his, brown blonde hair scraped back of his face. Balthazar tried to avert his eyes from the busty blonde girl who was lying on the bed behind him.

Gabriel lowered down…taking the moustache off in one swift movement. He opened his mouth, but closed it again…as if he was unsure what to say.

In the end he looked up. Eyes full of a nostalgic, yet apologetic glow.

"….Hi Cassy"

For a second Castiel wasn't sure if he had heard correctly. Gabriel wasn't talking to him, he couldn't be talking to him. The message was for Dean and Sam…so he couldn't possibly know….

"Balthy…" Gabriel acknowledged.

Balthazar had that deer in the headlights look on his face.

_What the bloody hell?_

Gabriel smiled. "If you're watching this, I'm dead." He smirked and clapped his hands childishly. "I've **always ** wanted to say that!"

Balthazar rolled his eyes. _Figures. _

Castiel wasn't speaking. He was just staring at the screen with wide eyes. So Gabriel knew he was going to die. That didn't make him feel any better. How can you know that your elder brother is going to kill you and not do anything to stop it? That just didn't seem right in a way.

"Look," Gabriel sighed. "I know this probably isn't easy for you"

"What could possibly give you that idea?" Balthazar remarked, shaking his head. As sarcastic at that comment may have been there was still something in his voice that gave Castiel the impression that his elder brother was more than annoyed at Gabriel's death. Castiel tilted his head to the side, _He is grieving. He just doesn't want me to see it. Typical Balthazar. _

"Oh, and quit blaming yourself Castiel" Gabriel said from the TV screen. "…this is nothing to do with you. If anyone is really to blame for this its Dean Winchester. You know, with the whole Stand up to your family crap…not that I have anything against the guy or anything." The laughing gaze in his eyes seemed to die a little. "I'm sorry, kiddos"

Balthazar smiled sadly to himself. Kiddos. That one word took him back to his childhood, centuries and centuries ago. Before the war, before creation. When Lucifer was still respected and loved enough to be called a big brother. When he was wanted enough to be one…Hearing that little nickname he had for them made Balthazar suddenly feel alone in the world.

It was funny, explaining how he felt. His big brother had just been killed by his other big brother, in cold blood, and Balthazar felt like he was living in some sort of hazy nightmare.

It felt like he would wake up at any given moment, Gabriel would still be alive, and Lucifer would still be in his cage, and The Winchesters would have nothing to do with any of the angels. Life would be good. And his elder brother would still be alive.

But this was no nightmare, this was real, Gabriel was dead…gone. And there was no way he could escape that fact. Whenever Balthazar smiled, or poured himself a whiskey…did anything that was remotely normal, the thought of Gabriel; lying on the floor of that hotel, bleeding and dying, and Lucifer standing over him, blade still in hand…and then all to soon a giant lump would rise in Balthazar's throat. His mind would reel, trying to get the knowledge to sink in. He would feel dizzy and sick, and would have the sudden urge to just crawl under a rock and stay there.

Gabriel took another deep breath. "Please, you have to understand why I did this. Lucifer had taken a step too far. What Dean said to me was right. I realise that now, I was being a coward."

Balthazar raised his eyebrows. _You don't say._

"Balthazar I know what you must be thinking and yes I do say." Gabriel smiled, almost as if he was imagining Balthazar's reaction. Castiel's sapphire eyes flicked to his brother. Balthazar had a very shocked look on his face and his eyes were the size of dinner plates.

The archangel on the battered television held his hands up,  
"Hey, you don't think I know how my little brother's mind works?" Gabriel pointed at him, "Oh, and enough of the sarcasm, young man."

There was silence for a second, and then the room was filled with the sound of Gabriel's warm laughter. But when Castiel looked closer, he saw that the archangel was actually doing the complete opposite. One solitary tear was running its way down the angels face. Gabriel's eyes widened a little, and he awkwardly wiped it away.  
"oop…dust in my eye…" He babbled, wiping his hand on his trousers.

He slapped his knees and shifted on the edge of the bed a little.  
"Right, I'm being serious now."

Castiel let out a small, sad, hollow little laugh. "When were you ever serious, brother?"

Gabriel looked like he was concentrating; his tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth, making it look like he was seriously thinking in a comical sort of way.

Gabriel sat back again, and shook his head, one elbow resting on top of his knee cap.  
"Ya know what? I can't do it."

Castiel smiled again, but this one was warmer, even if there were tears falling off the end of his chin.

A smirk crossed its way across Gabriel's face. It was a smirk that Balthazar remembered seeing whenever the older angel was up to something.

"You know what? I got an idea."

With a snap of his fingers, the background scenery on the television changed. Balthazar was thankful to have his eyes cured from the sight of the half naked blonde who had been lying behind Gabriel for the past 10 minutes.

Gabriel was now standing in a room, it appeared to be the room of some typical living room. There was a dinner table behind him, made of a heavy oak. There were six chairs at the table, one of them at the head of the table.

Gabriel span around on the spot arms spread out.  
"Do you two remember this place? C'mon you must do!"

Castiel sat forward in his seat a little. "Is that…"  
"Yeah…I think it is.." Balthazar answered, he too, leaning forward.

Gabriel winked at the camera, and rested his arms back down by his sides, "Welcome home, boys."

It all came back to him then. Castiel remembered the warm summer mornings and the bitter sweet winter afternoons, the smell of his pillow and the sound of servants clattering around in the kitchen downstairs. That was the sound that always woke him up every morning for about 15 centuries.

Balthazar on the other hand was remembering something different. He was remembering all the hiding places he had in that house when he was younger. He remembered how long it would take Gabriel and Michael to find him and make him go to bed, he remembered the garden.

Oh, the garden…that was where Balthazar's childhood really was. He would spend hours out there, running around the few hundred acres that they owned. And no matter how far he went, he would always be able to find his way home. But if there was one thing that stood out of all of those memories, it was the tyre swing.

Balthazar's tyre swing.

Gabriel had made it for him. It hung from an old oak tree near the house, and Balthazar would spend more time swinging on it than he did anything else. He even rushed dinner every night so he could get out there.

Sometimes Gabriel would come out with him, when he was really small, and he would push him, and then jump on it himself, and the two of them would sit there, swinging back and forth and watching all the stars wake up. Hours and hours they'd spend there. That is, until Father or Michael would shout them in for ice cream.

"Life used to be so easy didn't it?" Gabriel sighed, causing Balthazar to look up from his sudden nostalgia. There was something about the way Gabriel was standing, the way his eyes were studying every nook and cranny of the room that gave the impression that he was remembering too.

Gabriel looked back at the camera. "I just thought it would be easier to talk to you too from here…the place is a right mess now though. Don't think anyone's lived here for the odd millennia." The archangel's eyes seemed to fall on Balthazar. This confused the younger angel a little. How did he know where he was sitting? He shrugged it off. Sometimes it was better not to question Gabriel.

"Oh, Balth?"

Balthazar looked up, his eyes meeting with Gabriel's. Well, the ones on the television screen anyway.

"You're tyre swing is still outside."

Balthazar managed a hollow little smile. So it was still there. After all these hundereds and thousands of years.

Gabriel pulled one of the chairs out from under the table and sat down.

Castiel remembered that dinner table. They would sit there in age order. Chuck would be at the head of the table, as he was the eldest. And Michael would be on his left, Michael opposite. Diagonal form Lucifer would be Gabriel, diagonal from Gabriel would be Balthazar, and Castiel would be sitting at the very end.

Gabriel seemed to have found something on the chair next to him, With a smile he picked it up, and held it to the camera.  
"Hey, Cassy, you remember this little guy?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side, he was holding a little teddy, dusted in cobwebs…but it looked oh so familiar….

"…hah! It's Ba-ba-bear!" Balthazar laughed, and it was the happiest sound that had come out of him that night.  
"Who?" Castiel frowned. Studying the thing in Gabriel's hands.

"Ba-ba-bear! Geez, Cassy! You used to cry if you weren't allowed to take him somewhere with you…he was your teddy!"

"My teddy?"

On the television screen, Gabriel chuckled and dusted the bear off, before pausing.

"Do you remember?...that time when you fell off that swing, Balthazar? You used to play on it all day, climb it, swing on it, you even hung upside down from it….but you never ever fell off it. And that one day that you did, I was away with school…and Michael and Dad were with you…but you just wouldn't stop crying until I came home. Do you remember?"

Balthazar did. He saw Castiel staring at him out of the corner of his eye. Balthazar huffed.  
"It…bloody hurt!"

Gabriel's sombre eyes fell on Castiel. "And I also remember telling you all those stories, Cassy…all those naiads and dryads, fairies and Cyclopes' and….geez, no wonder I fell asleep when I was telling them to you." He laughed, and then ran a hand through his hair.

"I am so _sorry_ boys," He sighed "I have to go. Lucifer's killing the gods…better dash." This time both Balthazar and Castiel saw tears streaming down the archangels cheeks. Gabriel didn't bother disguising it this time.

Gabriel placed the side of two fingers on his forehead, and did a little salute.  
"Catch you in Valhalla, kiddos."

Castiel winced. Valhalla. The kingdom where the dead angels and gods go. He never thought that Gabriel would have to go there. Angels, as a rule, where immortal, but they could still be killed by angel blades.

Gabriel got to his feet, Ba-Ba-bear fell from his lap, and landed on the floor. Gabriel's hand was on top of the camera, near the button that switched it off, he was looking down at the camera screen, but to Balthazar and Castiel, it looked like he was staring straight at them.

"Balth, look after your brother like a good boy….oh and Cas?...

Make sure Dean keeps his promise"

And with that, he switched it off. And all Castiel could do was watch the face fade out with the picture, and try to keep his sobbing to a low level. He felt Balthazar sling one arm around his shoulders, pull him close. Cas closed his eyes, and didn't push away.

But still those last words echoed around in his head.

Make sure Dean keeps his promise.

…

Dean was sitting on the sofa. He couldn't sleep. Sammy on the other hand was completely sparked out. He hadn't even moved a muscle. He was lost in dream world.

Bobby was out, getting something or other. So Dean was on his own, Sitting on the sofa, legs tucked in underneath him. He was running his finger over the top of his half empty beer bottle.

He thought about switching the television on , but decided against it when he remembered how cold the floor was. He wasn't about to put his bare feet through that torture any time soon.

No. Not at all.

But when he heard the knock on the door, he got up. Muttering something about it being 11 o'clock at night. He winced as his feet were attacked by the harsh cold of the wooden floor.

He looked through the peep hole first, hand briefly reaching for the shotgun that was resting agaisnt the wall, but he pulled his hand back when he saw who it was.

Castiel.

Dean opened the door.

"Cas…you ok?"

Castiel looked anything but ok, his eyes were red and puffy, his trench-coat wrapped tightly around his body, arms folded across the top.

Dean's eyes flashed with concern for his friend, he took a little step forward, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Cas?"

"Hello Dean….I…."

The angel slowly looked up, Sapphire blue eyes meeting with emerald green ones.

"I was hoping we could talk…"

Dean smiled sadly and opened the door even wider.

"Sure thing Cas. Come right on in."

Dean smiled to himself, and briefly looked up at the night sky.

_I did promise didn't I?_


End file.
